As a caregiver, you can expect to experience feelings of loss, especially as Alzheimer's disease changes your life and the person you love. The natural phases of grieving usually involve denial, anger, guilt, physical symptoms, and eventually acceptance. Often you will feel grief, even while your loved one is still alive. This is because you have "lost" the person that you love. Be aware that these feelings may put an invisible barrier between you and the person with dementia.

• Denial that your loved one is ill
• Periods of helplessness, despair, and depression
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
• Feelings of anger or frustration with the person with Alzheimer's and with caregiving tasks
• Withdrawal from social activities, friends, family, and the person you care for

Throughout the process of grieving and mourning, guilt is often the most prevalent feeling for caregivers. Guilt can be related to:

• Thinking you could have done something differently
• Being able to enjoy life while the person with Alzheimer's may not
• Feelings that you have failed, especially if the person with dementia has been placed in a nursing home
• Negative thoughts about the person with the disease — wishing that his or her suffering would come to an end
• Conflicts with family members because they are uninvolved or critical of the care that's being provided

In many cases feelings of guilt are linked to unrealistic expectations. To cope with the grieving process, try taking the following action steps:

• Recognize your feelings
• Accept guilt as a normal part of loss and grief
• Find ways to forgive yourself
• Share your feelings with a friend, support group, therapist, or spiritual leader Click here to find a support group in your area.
• Learn to feel comfortable accepting and celebrating good things in your life
• If grieving is so prolonged or severe that your physical and mental well-being is at risk, seek help from your physician. There are ways that you can begin to cope with grief, including:

• Returning to some aspects of your daily routine
• Allowing time for physical exercise, play, and rest
• Trying to find humor — even in difficult situations
• Bringing balance to your life by doing things that you enjoy
• Preparing for what the future may bring

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