 The staff and volunteers of the NYC Chapter assist
thousands of families who are faced with the challenges
of caring for a relative or friend who has Alzheimer’s
disease (AD) or another form of dementia. Caregiver,
Yvette Ellis, and her family shared their personal story
at our 2006 “Forget-Me-Not” Gala. Below she shares
the joys and challenges of caring for her mother, Isolyn
Ellis, who has AD
Julius Cobb, Ingrid Cobb, Ashanti Cobb, Janet Mitchell & Yvette Ellis
Janet Mitchell, Care Consultant: Can you tell
us what life was like for your family before your
mother’s diagnosis of AD?
Yvette Ellis: Life with Mom was great. She was a loving
mom and grandmother. She loved baseball, enjoyed
traveling and was a huge Yankee fan. She was a nurses’ assistant, and she loved her job very much. She also loved
to go to church every Sunday with her grandchildren.
JM: Where did your mother grow up? And when
did she move to New York City?
YE: My mother was born in Jamaica West Indies. She
came to NYC when she was 18.
JM: When did you notice that there was something
different about your mother?
YE: I noticed things were different with Mommy
when it came to her cooking, because she was always an
excellent cook. One Sunday she called me to the kitchen
and said, “I don’t know how to cook the pot roast.” I was
taken by surprise, and I thought that something was not
right. I spoke to a co-worker about the incident who
said, “That’s not normal.”
JM: What steps did you then take?
YE: I called her Doctor and said, “My mom is exhibiting
behaviors that are not normal.” After seeing her, he
said, “I think it can be an early sign of Alzheimer’s disease.”
He prescribed Aricept. One morning as I was on my
way to work, I came downstairs and she was sweating and
walking up and down the hallway. I asked, “What’s the
matter?” And she said, “I don’t know, I don’t feel good.”
I took her to the emergency room. She was admitted
to the hospital and had an evaluation by a psychologist.
He said, “She doesn’t know what year this is.” I couldn’t
believe it. I said, “Mommy, what year are we in?” And
she answered, “1985.” The year was actually 2002.
JM: What was it like for you when you brought your
mother home from the hospital?
YE: It was extremely hard. I had to ask people if they
could stay with my mom for the day. I was missing days
from work, and I really needed to keep my job. It was
also hard on my two children. I also had to find time
for them, as well as caring for my mother.
JM: What prompted you to call the Alzheimer’s
Association?
YE: My mother’s behavior was becoming more
difficult, and I didn’t know where to turn for help. I
was talking to a neighbor, who suggested that I call the
Alzheimer’s Association. She told me about the 24-hour
Helpline, which I called, and found it to be of great assistance.
The NYC Chapter was terrific in helping me to
develop a long term care plan for my mother.
JM: How are things now for you and your family?
YE: I have homecare in place, and that is a big help.
Emotionally, it’s hard for me and my children to see my
mother like this. We try to remember the good times that
we shared with Mom. That is what keeps us all going.
JM: What advice would you give to caregivers who
are experiencing a family member with AD?
YE: The first thing is to educate yourself about the
illness. The more knowledge you have, the better you can
help your loved one. Also, having patience is important.
If you don’t have patience, it’s not going to work. Lastly,
find a way to take a break, and take care of yourself so
you’re able to take care of your loved one.
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