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Please See Us Safely Home
One frightening day last June, Faye’s 82
year-old mother Arlene disappeared from
their apartment building. She was soon found
ten blocks away and escorted home by the
police. Faye responded to this new challenge in
her usual way. She got creative. She decided to
post signs throughout her Upper West Side
building. Alongside a photograph of Arlene and
their poodle Fidel, they read, “If you see us,
please see us safely home.”
Faye’s introduction to
the NYC Chapter was
hardly auspicious. The
Care Consultant remembers
her dropping into an
Understanding Dementia
meeting and sitting alone
at the far end of the table,
barely saying a word. “I’ve
always been a bit of a
rebel,” she later admitted
sheepishly. Arlene was
soon registered in Alzheimer’s Association
Safe Return®, and Faye
called to schedule an individual
care consultation. Arlene, the care consultant
learned, had been
living with Faye’s sister in
Ohio since her dementia diagnosis. When her
illness began to progress, Faye moved her to
New York. |
Arlene and her
beloved dog Fidel |
Since she holds a demanding job
as Assistant Director for Diversity at a major
university, Faye asked her daughter to care for
Arlene on weekdays. Stay-at-home mother to a
precocious toddler, Faye’s daughter juggled these
two caregiving responsibilities and the arrangement
worked for a while.
Arlene’s family had been taken aback by her
dementia diagnosis. Well-known in her Ohio
community as a bright, creative woman, a registered
nurse who was “ahead of her time,” Arlene
passed on her love of learning to her daughters.
As if to illustrate the point, Faye showed the care
consultant colorful flow charts she had drawn to
document Arlene’s daily care needs. She learned
from the Chapter about a range of care options,
including nursing home, home care and day
care. Faye became more and more convinced
that she wanted Arlene to live at home with her.
The question, “Is Mommy ready for a nursing
home?” was answered with a resounding “no”
when Arlene was hospitalized in New Jersey,
then sent to a long-term care facility for rehabilitation.
The nursing staff related that Arlene
followed them in their rounds, taking detailed
notes on the other patients. Faye reported with
pride,“They said the notes were very good!”
With Arlene once again splitting her time
between New York and New Jersey, Faye’s
daughter was quickly coming to the end of her
rope. Arlene needed to move in with Faye
full-time as quickly as possible. The care consultant
decided to apply for Medicaid through the
Transitions program of the Visiting Nurse Service
of New York (VNS). She knew that once the
experts at Transitions determine a Medicaid
application is well-documented, VNS will
provide nursing and home care services immediately,
saving the family months of waiting.
Arlene now has daily home care and is
teaching the home health aides to crochet. They
all enjoy Fidel, who is the star of the household.
Faye is able to leave for work without worrying,
and comes home to find the apartment buzzing
with activity.
From her reluctant beginning with the Chapter,
Faye has become a spokesperson for Safe
Return. With creativity and persistence, she has
accomplished a goal that once seemed unlikely,
that of bringing her mother “safely home.”
If you would like to meet with a care consultant, please call the Chapter at 646-744-2900 or our 24-hour Helpline at 800-272-3900. Caregivers featured in this series have agreed to share their stories. Names have been changed to protect their anonymity.
— Amanda Leis, LCSW
Manager, Care Consultation
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