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Lessons Learned
“I didn’t think this was rocket science, but it sure is difficult,” remarked a family member,
who attended a recent Family Caregiver Workshop. What he was referring to was his
realization that in order to improve his quality of life and the quality of life of his family
member – he needs to change the way he thinks, solves problems, and communicates, because
the person with dementia (PWD) is incapable of changing.
We live in a fast-paced environment, we talk fast, we rush out of the house in the morning to
meetings, to doctors’ appointments, always juggling multiple things…. but this is not the world
of the PWD. Caregivers attending the 10-hour workshops — which are conducted during
the daytime, in the evenings, and on Saturdays — learn to understand things from the PWD’s
perspective and provide care utilizing a person-centered approach (building their self-esteem
and retained skills). Topics explored during this interactive training include: Understanding
Dementia; Strategies for Effective Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication with the PWD, Physicians,
Family Members, Home Health Aides and Other Health Care Personnel; All Behavior Has Meaning;
Caring for the Caregiver; How to Advocate for Your Family Member; Safety in the Home; and Developing
Creative and Meaningful Activities (and we actually find our creative selves in class). In addition,
participants receive written materials for each course module, which they can utilize later as
a reference guide or share with other family members, home health aides or friends of the
family.
What follows are key lessons from the training shared by family members. “The sessions
have helped me look through a different lens that will change as the PWD changes.” “I now
know the importance of learning to be wrong, rather than blaming the PWD.” “I understand
the need to be flexible and to adopt the ‘So What Attitude,’ it really doesn’t matter if my
family member is not bathing everyday.” “I now know my job is a detective, I need to better
understand and uncover my mother’s behavior and help ease her life.” “I now understand how
frustrating it is for my family member to lose her independence.” “I now try to think as the
PWD does.” “Now that I know the PWD lives in a much slower world, it is critical to simplify
things.” “I know that I am not alone and what my PWD is experiencing is not unusual.”
“Each PWD is unique.” “…I understand the importance of staying calm, not proving my
point, reasoning or arguing.” “I have learned to accept what is… and how critical it is to take
care of myself and ask for help from others.” “I have learned new ways to relate to my Mother
which makes me feel empowered.” “This seminar is informative, helpful and enlightening…
and even enjoyable for a heart-breaking situation.”
Is it difficult to incorporate lessons learned during the course of the training in everyday
life? Absolutely! Are caregivers reporting that they are gradually adapting their behaviors and
putting lessons learned into practice? Definitely, and most importantly family members are
noticing improved relationships with the PWD.
For more information about the Family Caregiver Workshops, please call the 24-hour Helpline
at
1-800-272-3900.
— Amy Trommer
Dementia Care Trainer
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