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Support Groups As Community
C aregiving is a partnership
in which each party has
needs and requires care.
There is a tendency, however,
to focus on the problems of the
person with the disease to the
exclusion of the caregiver. This
doesn’t work.
As support group leader
and Manager of the Support
Group program, I have spoken
with thousands of Alzheimer’s
caregivers. A theme I consistently
hear is how overwhelming,
draining and confusing being an
Alzheimer’s caregiver can be.
Having been an Alzheimer’s caregiver for 8 years, I
know the experience from the inside and that it’s too much
to go through alone. But it doesn’t always have to feel that
way.
Some Alzheimer’s caregivers call the Chapter
immediately upon diagnosis to find out what programs
and services are available for their relative with the disease
and for themselves. However, the vast majority wait until
they become depressed, isolated, frustrated, angry and have
reached a place where they can’t take it anymore. At this
point their desperation removes any doubt they need help.
This is the time caregivers need to be with others who
have been there – who understand what they’re going
through. This is a fundamental principle of support groups:
there is community, which offers hope and strength. The
caregiver no longer feels alone and isolated.
Another principle of support groups is learning
from each other’s challenges and successes. We witness
our experiences through other people and thereby gain
clarity and a new perspective on our own situation. In
effect, we help each other to create emotional distance
so we are more patient and less reactive. We develop
and strengthen our capacity to understand the effects
of the disease, which expectations are realistic, which
battles are worth taking on and what our limits are.
Living with Alzheimer’s disease or any of the dementias
is a destabilizing experience. The group supports each
individual’s effort to regain balance in his or her life and
to think about their own needs. The ultimate goal is to
improve the quality of life for the caregiver and the person
with dementia.
To find out more about the Chapter’s support group program, please call Wendy Panken, Manager, Support Groups, at 646-744-2917 or send an e-mail to wpanken@alznyc.org.
(A phone call is preferable.)
— Wendy Panken, LCSW
Manager, Support Groups
Making Connections
A s the weather began to change, the members of “Connections”
— a weekly activities and socialization program for earlystage
people held at the Chapter — caught spring fever and
wanted to spread it around. They used their weekly meeting to
make “Happy Spring!” cards for sick children and their families
staying at the Ronald McDonald House of New York while
undergoing cancer treatments at local hospitals. Lauren Tiede,
the Program’s facilitator, provided guidance and inspiration
as the participants went about their artistic endeavors. On
receiving the cards, Helen Stafford, Volunteer Director at the
Ronald McDonald House, stated, “A big thank-you to you and
all who helped make the onset of spring for our families ever so
special. You really are the best and we appreciate you more
than you will ever know.”
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